change is hard...

I've always been one who struggled with change. Once I find something good I want it to last. The same can probably be said for most people. Sometimes change is at our own doing, sometimes not. But change is inevitable. For better or for worse.

This past year has been life changing (key word there being "changing". Some of it was anticipated, some of it not. My son is about to graduate high school. I am so proud of him, and what his future holds. Katie and I had been looking forward to his graduation for so many reasons. Mostly for his accomplishment and success, but also as the start to our new life together. As many of you know we sort of lived in two homes. The plan was to consolidate our living situation when my son graduated. He'll be off to school at the end of summer, and we were planning what life would be like with both kids out of the house. As much as I will and do miss my kids, we were looking forward to them being off at school where they could live their lives, on their own, and we could start our life together, on our own. We had so many plans. And visiting the kids at school was one of the things we looked forward to the most. In fact, when we moved my daughter to school, Katie and I went there a couple of days early to go hang out in the college town. Both of my kids are going to school where I went (Michigan State) so I know the campus and town really well. So we pretended we were back in college and I took her on a bar crawl during "welcome week" and we had an absolute blast. I must say its a little strange to go back to your college bar hangouts as an "old couple" but we're young, fun, and hip!! We stayed out until the bar closed and just had so much fun. I should also say its fun to go back when you have some money and you can afford better drinks! Sadly I don't have any pictures from that night, but I do have pictures from that trip, which I will share soon.

But as I sit here writing this post, I can't help but think of all of the visits and bar crawls that won't happen. I am packing up stuff preparing for the move, but instead of excitement of what is to come, I am sad, lost, heartbroken. What was supposed to be one of the best and most exciting times of my life, has become one of the saddest. I know she wouldn't want me to feel that way, but its really hard not to.

So as I slowly pack up my house, I am trying to focus on the good memories I have with us here. We didn't spend a lot of time here at my house. We spent most of our time at her house. But when we were here, we were usually with the kids, and that was really special. When we were together we sort of had a routine. Fridays we would go out to dinner. Usually someplace nearby. Our go to's were Tru Burger, El Encanto Dos, or Chili's (yep, Chili's). Katie LOVED their chips and salsa. She would say that Chips and salsa and a margarita would be perfect for dinner. And often that is what she would have. It made her so happy. I loved that about her. Something so simple could make her so happy. Saturdays and Sundays I usually cooked. We'd also play alot of games when we were all together. She loved Five Crowns, Ticket to Ride, Sequence, and Mexican Train. We would play for hours. And she always seemed to win Five Crowns. Like always.

Another fun thing we would do every once and a while would be to go to the Roadrunner. Its a bar/saloon not too far from here where on Saturdays they have live country music and live bull riding. Its a lot of fun, and something Katie loved. Anytime she could put on her cowgirl boots, have a drink, and listen to Country music she was there. Plus it was something we could do with the kids, which made it even more fun.

Visits to this part of town always seemed to include a stop at Costco. I used to complain to Katie that I would never go to Costco on a Saturday because of how busy it always was. But she would joke that I needed my "paci" (my pacifier) and I would be ok. It always made me laugh.

One of the benefits of staying here was how much closer we were to places further north in Arizona. Prescott, Flagstaff, Sedona, etc. were just a relatively short car ride away. Which also meant the pumpkin patch! Fall was our favorite season. So in the fall of '24 the whole family went to the pumpkin patch. It was a wonderful day.

On the strange times when we would be here without the kids, we would go to this local Speakeasy. The place is awesome and was right up Katie's alley. You need a password to get in, and it feels a little like it was out of the roaring 20's. Not to mention the food is excellent, as well as the cocktails. We didn't make it there much, but we always enjoyed it when we did. We even brought my parents there. Now that's saying something!

Katie also helped me decorate this house. I never did anything with it other then a little paint here and there. I just assumed that someday I'd get married and she would redo it, or we would move. So why bother doing much to it. But she helped me with the guest bedroom. She had such good taste in decor, and I love her style. Katie was the first and only woman I ever brought to my house. I was so excited to have her visit. It was just before Christmas in 2021. For those who know me I tend to go a little overboard with the Christmas decor. But I prepared her for that. I made sure my house was perfect (at least as perfect as it could get). I remember her coming in and not making fun of me for all of my decor. Don't get me wrong, my decor is tasteful and nice, but there is just a lot of it. It kind of smacks you in the face when you walk in. But its a part of who I am, and she accepted it fully. Needless to say we had a wonderful night.

Finally, I haven't been home to my parents for Thanksgiving in at least 20 years. At some point I started doing Thanksgiving here. Mostly as a trip to Michigan for Thanksgiving didn't make sense especially if we were just going a few weeks later for Christmas. But after my divorce, I really started getting into Thanksgiving, probably because my kids were getting older, and starting to appreciate it more. So by the time I got into this house, Thanksgiving was a big deal to me, and became my favorite meal of the year to cook. I would make a whole day out of it. 2022 was my first Thanksgiving with Katie. Up until then my Thanksgivings were usually with my kids and their mom, but me doing all of the cooking on my own. One year the kids and their mom went out of town, so I hosted another family. That was pretty fun too. Anyways, Katie and I started our Thanksgiving traditions in 2022. We both love to cook, and both loved to host, so Thanksgiving was like a perfect holiday for us. And for the first time in as long as I could remember, I got to share the cooking and prepping with someone. I loved it. Not because I needed the help, but because I got to share my favorite cooking day of the year with the woman I loved. We had so much fun. Getting up early, cooking in our PJ's, listening to Charlie Brown Christmas (my favorite Christmas music). Its how I offically kicked off the holiday season. And to be able to do that with her, just made it the absolute best. For real.

So as I think back on this house, the memories, her, my kids, its a little bittersweet. There were so many things Katie and I planned for this next chapter in life. And I've promised myself I would try my hardest to follow thru with those, for her, for me, for us, and in her honor. I know that is what she would want. But its hard. Really, really hard. Anyways, I've included some pictures of us from times spent when we were here. And I thought today would be a good day to share them.

As always, don't take any day for granted, and make sure to hug your loved ones. Cheers.

Here is picture from the Roadrunner. Katie was in her element! There are our friends Bill and Candy, and my daughter.

This is a picture of the bar from the Speakeasy.

Typical visit to Costco. On this day she was trying on new coats! She would often ask for me to take a picture of her trying something on so she could see what it looked like. I'm not sure if she would want me sharing that little tidbit or not. Oh well. She is so freakin cute!!!

Family day at the pumpkin patch. I'll remember this day for the rest of my life.

This is my most absolute favorite picture I have of Katie and my Daughter. We had just gotten some apple cider. And they sat for a second. I didn't know how good this picture was going to be. I just think Katie looks stunning here. I know I am biased but to me she looks like a movie star. I love this picture. I'm so glad my daughter is in it. They were both genuinely enjoying this moment and I am so glad I captured it.

I couldn't make this post and not include a picture from Thanksgiving. This is Thanksgiving 2024. Our last Thanksgiving together. She was making her sweet potatoes. I had the turkey in and was in clean up mode. I thought she looked so cute in her PJs and beanie. I'm sure she would not agree with me, lol.